


'Sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind'

by rlbelliboni



Series: Bucky's journal [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, CA:CW - Freeform, Confused Bucky Barnes, Depressed Bucky Barnes, Depression, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Internal Conflict, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Pain, Poems, Poetry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Sad, Steve is a medicine, Suicide Attempt, bucky's journal, this might be triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8184476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rlbelliboni/pseuds/rlbelliboni
Summary: (This might be triggering. If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please go see a professional. You deserve to live a great life)Bucky Barnes often thinks about suicide. He needs Steve to quiet his mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another little piece of work for Bucky's Journal. Thank you for the feedback you guys give. I love you all. The title is from 'Migraine' by Twenty One Pilots and in my perspective is such a Bucky song i feel sad.

It always happens at night time,  
when i lie in bed so lonely  
being haunted by a version of me  
that i am dying to find.

Why is it always a nightmare?  
I see who i am against who i used to be.

It's a clash of titans  
and i wish i didn't win.

So i try again,  
I hold the gun between my lips,  
taste the metal against my tongue,  
feel the bitterness of my tears  
dripping down my cheeks,  
staining my skin,  
like my blood stains my bed sheets.

But i blink away the tear.  
I put the gun down.  
I can't do this,  
I would do it for me,  
but i can't leave you again.

Even if i am used with the iron  
upon my sleeve,  
i can't bear this metallic fate  
upon my name.

So i beg you to hold me,  
Once again Steve,  
Save me.

**Author's Note:**

> Hya there, thank you for reading, i hope you all enjoyed, sometimes i feel like this series is so personal. hahahahaha  
> Feedback is always appreciated, and never forget you are all so beautiful, and life is great, we just need to find our track and place our little anchors. I love you guys so much, you are all pure gold.


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